It's Going to be Alright
by fwuzzfwuzz
Summary: It's the anniversary of his parent's death. He should be over it, right?


He leaned forward, his eye red-rimmed and bloodshot.

"I'm over it, it's been fifteen years." His voice was raspy and his breath smelled distinctly of alcohol.

His grandma smiled at him compassionately, "They would be proud of you."

He scoffed as he stood up, swaying uneasily, "Me?" The words hung in the air, stale and incredulous. His grandma linked her fingers giving him a knowing look.

She always called herself a human x-ray and he always felt transparent.

"It's alright to be upset on the anniversary of -"

"I know, I know." He had moved to the window watching the sun creep above the mountains. He wondered if heaven was that bright, if his parents were staring down. Were they happy with him, were they proud?

Over time his memories of them faded and their faces began to blur. All he could remember was the gleam of his mothers blond hair, and how pretty she smelled. Even after all this time he could feel his father's strong arms lift him up and he remembered how scratchy his beard was.

He felt a lump rise in his throat and he swallowed it thickly.

The grandfather clock in the hall chimed in the background; it was 5am in the morning.

"I gotta..." He trailed off tilting his head towards the door.

"Well, don't leave before giving Grandma a hug." She held out her arms and he smiled bashfully. He bent down and wrapped his arms around her. She was always warm and soft. She kissed his cheek and released him.

He could feel the warmth on his cheek the whole bike ride home. That was enough.

A few hours later he entered his cubicle with a pounding headache. The lights were too bright and everyone was abnormally loud. Someone was stomping across the floor, another slamming paper on desk, and a guy across the way had to be hammering his stapler with his fist.

How much alcohol had he drunk again?

Looking around he felt a fear grip him, it was random and uncalled for. The anxiety attacks that had overtaken him when he was a teenager were not so long ago that he did not remember them.

Too calm himself he shakily took out his wallet. Hidden deep within the folds and receipts was a tightly creased picture. He opened the photograph and fondly stroked the image of him standing between his mother and father. He was eleven with the largest smile he ever wore.

His eyes glazed over.

_There was rain that was coming down in torrents. The road was so slippery you could probably see your reflection. His dad was trying to keep the car straight but the wind must of been going at least 40 mph. _

_Mike fearfully watched the car shake and shudder across the highway._

_"Pull over." Mike's mother insisted._

_"I got it." He brushed her off; this obviously wasn't the first time she asked._

_Suddenly an 18-wheeler swerved into their lane and clipped the front of their car, sending them into a spin across the slick highway. They slammed into a metal barrier and the air bags deployed._

"Mike!" His name burst through his foggy musings.

His lungs burned as his eyes gradually came into focus. He gasped, and quickly sucked in air feeling dizzy. Harvey was leaning down looking at him curiously and Mike was no longer standing instead he was sitting on his desk chair

Mike jerked away, "I'm fine."

Harvey released a strangled laugh, "Could've fooled me!"

Mike avoided his eyes and saw the folder lying on the desk. In an attempt to avoid Harvey's inquiries he had begun to read the engagement letter.

"Mike." Harvey's voice was firm. Mike suppressed a sigh and looked up, "I need you at 100%." He stated.

Mike nodded, straightening his posture, "I am, don't worry."

"I don't worry." Harvey was still standing there.

"Good."

There wasn't much else to say. All Mike could hear was his rapid heartbeat and his barely controlled breathing.

With one final glance, Harvey left him alone. Mike let out a relieved breath.

How long had it been since he had confronted these feelings. It was so much easier to take off the edge with pot and forget his responsibilities.

He pulled out his phone and scrolled through the contacts, if Trevor were here. He shook his head; he didn't need to revive old habits.

He picked up the folder once more, welcoming the distraction. They had a new client and Harvey insisted on making sure the engagement letter was perfect.

After a few hours his hands were covered in highlighter and pen marks from nervously flipping his writing utensils. Hyped up on caffeine to overcome the fatigue he burst into Harvey's office and slapped the folder onto his desk.

Harvey was on the phone leaned back on his chair, his forehead creased. He barely glanced at Mike as he jotted down a few numbers. He ended the call and quickly stood up.

"You're coming with me, let's go." Harvey was already 15 paces in front of him before Mike registered that he needed to follow Harvey.

"W-wait, what are we doing." He stumbled to catch up and Harvey threw the notepad at him. Mike only just caught it. An address was on the paper, it was to a client that Louis was closing a deal with.

"Is there a problem?"

"Would Jessica be calling me if there wasn't?" Harvey raised an eyebrow and looked at Mike as if that was the stupidest question he ever asked.

They reached the street and Ray was waiting dutifully there. Harvey slapped Ray on the back and they started chatting about something but Mike was distracted by the all the cars.

"Mike!" Mike blinked and looked at Harvey waiting expectantly already sitting in the backseat. He hesitated and noted the exasperated look plainly shown on Harvey's face.

He quickly entered the car before he could change his mind and Ray started driving. Every turn Mike gripped the seat. His stomach turned at every brake, and he nearly called out when he felt the car speeding too fast.

The car suddenly screeched to a halt and Mike yelled out, and closed his eyes.

_They weren't dead, they were still alive. The metal barrier twisted inside the driver side window. His mother was limply lying on the dash._

_They were silent and he was screaming but no one could hear him. The wind was still whistling loudly, the rain flooded the car._

_His seatbelt burned against his skin and he pressed the button which caused him to fall forward. He climbed in front of the two seats. He dad was bleeding everywhere and his eyes were open staring at nothing._

_His mom had a gash on her head, the air bag on her side did not deploy properly. She looked like she was sleeping. _

_He grabbed both their hands strongly and shut his eyes tight hoping that when he opened them, everything would be alright._

"Mike, open your eyes." The strong baritone voice ordered him. Mike didn't want to; he felt the hand that he was gripping was no longer cold. It was warm and squeezing back.

Mike opened his eyes to see Harvey up close staring at him with what looked like concern. Mike quickly released Harvey's hand as if he was burned.

He felt the warmth in his face and knew he was bright red. The cold feeling in his stomach did not leave though.

He crossed his arms around his torso, and bit his lip hard.

"Ray, take it slow from here." Harvey demanded and whipped out his phone. He was furiously texting someone.

"Want to explain to me what's going on." Harvey asked without looking up.

"No, it's none of your business." Mike answered quietly, hoping to bolt once the car slowed down.

"That's where you're wrong; it's my business to know about things. I'm a lawyer."

Mike didn't reply, his lips pursed to a straight line.

"I know a lot of things today. I knew the engagement letter was fine when I gave it to you." Mike turned to him confused; Harvey was still not looking at him.

"I know that there was no deal to rescue Louis from."

Mike balled his fists, "Then where are we-," He was cut off by Harvey's raised hand. Harvey then looked him straight in the eyes with a painful intensity.

"I know your parents died 15 years ago today."

The car's temperature dropped to subzero and Mike looked like a deer caught in headlights. He felt them roll to a stop and Ray opened the passenger door.

Harvey leaned back revealing a view of a cemetery. Mike felt his eyes burn and blinked it away. He was frozen in place.

"Are you ready?"

"You –," Mike cleared his throat, "You don't understand, I can't."

"Here I thought I hired an associate with balls, who could face anything with a straight face."

Mike licked his lips nervously glancing at the cemetery and then back at Harvey. His feet felt like they were glued to the ground.

He looked down and leaned back, his eyes shadowed and his hands trembling, "This was my fault." Harvey leaned in, not believing what he heard.

"Your parents died in a car crash." He clarified.

Mike nodded, "I wanted to go to my grandmother's house that night. I insisted." Mike stopped taking a shuddering breath.

"They didn't want to go but I begged them and then it started raining, then they," He broke off, looked past Harvey.

"Look me in the eye. Tell me you somehow caused that semi to crash into their car and I'll fire you right now."

Mike looked him in the eye but his throat was so constricted that he couldn't say a word. He felt tears fall down his face unbidden, what could he say to make Harvey understand?

"That's what I thought, come on." Harvey's voice was gentler than before.

Harvey exited the vehicle and Mike did the only thing he could think of and followed him.

His eyes zoned right to their graves.

_He was still a boy, in a suit too big. It was his older cousin's. Everyone was apologizing to him and he couldn't figure out why. They didn't do anything._

_His parents didn't seem very important anymore. Two beautiful parents were replaced with two lifeless plots of dirt._

_He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and looked up. He grandmother pulled him into a hug and kissed his forehead, "Everything is going to be alright. You'll see."_

Before he knew it he was in the same place from when he was a boy. The graves looked smaller than he remembered.

His grandma's hand was replaced with Harvey's hand on his shoulder. Mike was startled by this and looked at Harvey. His eyes were protective and guarded at the same time.

Mike always pictured himself going absolutely crazy whenever he thought about going here. A heavy weight lifted off him.

There was something oddly peaceful about visiting them. For the first time today, he felt like he could breathe. He squinted up at the sun.

"Why'd you bring me here?" Mike felt his curiosity coming back to him.

"It's always been a principle of mine to face anything in head-on. I had a feeling you were going to pussyfoot around this and give me a bigger headache than I needed." Harvey grumbled but Mike felt himself smiling.

He didn't look at Harvey though.

"So?" Harvey half asked, squeezing Mike's shoulder and then letting go.

He fumbled with his words anxiously rubbing the back of his neck, "Thanks, I don't know what to say."

Harvey scoffed and started walking away. He looked back, "Don't say anything; I got a reputation to uphold."

A/N: Thank you for reading, this story was hard to end. I couldn't figure out how to get it. I used a little bit of creative license regarding his parents death which I'm sure will be disproved in future episode. I hope you like it. ^.^


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